To tell you the truth, we can barely believe it is 2016! Honestly, this school year has gone by so fast. And to be frank, we knew it was time for a new virtue for the new year. Can you guess what it is?!?
HONESTY
Telling the Truth. Saying what really happened, even if we are scared.
Honesty is a virtue the children are definitely more familiar with right off the bat. They have heard parents, teachers, and even friends remind them to tell the truth or perhaps demand that they “don’t lie”. However, troubles can arise if we aren’t careful about how we discuss honesty. When a tough situation occurs and a child has made a mistake or bad decision we often demand the truth about what happened. Sometimes as the adult we know exactly what happened, but we want to hear it from their lips. Child Psychology studies show us that if the pressure is too high or there is punishment lurking in the air children can often feel cornered. In these situations the truth can feel pretty scary and lies or denial can begin to appear. The more successful approach is to often led your child toward the truth, creating a safe enviroment for them to be honest. This will encourage an on going communication of what really happened and a better understanding of the consciences of their actions.
Here are examples conversations from a Psychology Today article about this subject…
Scencario A: Cornering and Creating Potential Mistruths
Parent: (In an accusatory voice) Where did you get that candy?
Child: I found it in my pocket.
Parent: Did you steal it from the store?
Child: No, I didn’t!
Parent: I think you did. Your sister just told me she saw you take it. And now you’re lying to me too.
Child: No, she’s lying. I didn’t take it.
Parent: Well, then where did you get it? Now you’re going to get punished twice-once for stealing and once for lying to me.
Scencario B: Leading Toward Honesty
Parent: I see that you have some candy. But I didn’t buy that for you and your sister just told me that she saw you take it off the shelf when we were in the store.
Child: (Looks down)
Parent: I don’t believe in tattling, and I’ve told your sister that. But it’s also important not to steal. And it’s just as important that we don’t lie to each other. You know we’re a family that really values honesty. You trust me and I trust you.
Child: I didn’t mean to. It just happened.
Parent: I know, Honey. The temptation is so great. But I’m so proud of you for telling me the truth. That’s a hard thing to do and I appreciate it so much. Now, let’s get going back to the store. I’ll stand by your side while you return the candy.
Teachers at both house encounter opportunities for such conversations everyday, as we are sure you do as well. As we continue to discuss honesty this month and beyond it would be a great idea to review the definition (which they know well) and practice opportunities to reshape these conversations. Honestly, we think this practice can make a lifetime of difference!
LOTS AND LOTS OF RECENT PICTURES FROM BOTH HOUSES!!!
